Stephan put down his glass of beer and I finished : ” … so from now on, garbage is apparently handled by the astounding alcoholic neighbor.”
-“I don’t think you’re allowed to say things like that anymore.”
-“Things like what?”
-“Calling your neighbor stupefying and drunk.”
-“Astounding! And I certainly did not say drunk. I know the difference, he’s an alcoholic!”
-“Still not acceptable by modern rules.”
Me, with a glowing annoyance in my tone, “Well then the rules be damned. I can’t say my bright neighbor, he’s not; he’s astounding! I can’t say my interesting neighbor, he’s not; he’s astounding!
I can’t say my friendly neighbor, he’s not; he’s flocking astounding. If you want to bicker over terms, I’ll give you that I don’t intend astounding with a positive connotation. Does that help?”
-“Not really but as long as no one else hears you … Still, don’t call him an alcoholic in public.”
-“Ahhhhhhh, come on! I’m not forming an opinion and preparing an intervention, it’s a simple fact : the guy is a consummate wino.”
-“You don’t know that.”
-“Well, no, not sensu stricto, I don’t carry a breath analyzer with me although I bet if we dropped him in the alley, after ten bites the rats would be dancing and singing Maracena or La Cucaracha.
But again, observation goes a long way. I’ve been here four months, always saw him flustered and wavering. Met him on the street a few days back, alert and walking straight and did not recognize him! Ah! There! See what I mean?”
-“You’re hopeless!”
-Truthful, it used to be called truthful … or blunt, to the most delicate.”
Tay.
Definitive Lapse of Reason 