Well, since I promised to get back to sarcastic news for Definitive Lapse of Reason’s second year and to do so on Fridays … well, here we are. I may go back in time somewhat more though if only for our nice Canuck friends?
For on August 11, news came out that Canada was thinking of sending more boats to its West Coast in order to cover the Pacific and ( sort of ) prevent a Chinese invasion?
Which came from this Spring of 2012 analysis :
http://www.cdfai.org/PDF/Chinas%20Shadow%20-%20Canadas%20Concern.pdf
Never mind that the whole Canadian Navy in its present format could probably not stop an Alaskan trappers’ canoe invasion, the next scheduled exercise in the region was in Australia with stop in Hawaii and saw two Canadian ships on route to it collide?
Now, in all honesty, let us remind our readers that few navies actually maintain a real capacity for replenishment at sea. The USN has been trying to modernize its concept for the future around something called Sea-Basing, the specialist analysis of which can be found in early form from the excellent Rand Corporation here :
http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/monographs/2007/RAND_MG649.pdf
Still, think about it? Step A : reveal your intentions to fight an enemy. Step B : hope the enemy will wait for your upcoming plan to reinforce your capacities to have been implemented …
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/business-equipment/canadian-surface-combatant.page …?
Step C : suffer an embarrassing mishap which shows the upgrade may not suffice?
OUCH!
As long as we are in the Pacific region, let’s point out the total opposition between Malaysia and the Philippines? While in the latter, the government is battling the armed rebellion of the MNLF Muslim autonomist group which has “captured” Christian villages, in the former, the government is trying to heighten inter-religious tensions by fighting the minority Christian Malays over such things as selling books and using Allah as the word to describe God? As found in this Al-Jazeera explanation :
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2013/09/201399122648403691.html
Meanwhile the opposition is fighting disappearing ink and illegal ID Cards?
http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=86655
Off course, it also battles jail sentences for its leaders and the fact that it won the popular vote but lost in seats according to the proportional system applied in that country ( as in most supposed Western democracies by the way ). Still as show in the following piece by the brilliant UK magazine The Economist :
Time may help? Except of course that in politics promising change that does not come may not be the best way to get elected? Or as my local friend Akmal put it recently : “…both sides are nutcases.” Which somehow doesn’t hock this follower of Western Civilization electoral processes? Oh, well! Sigh, I guess and all that sort of things?
On the slu..ish, err Cyrus front, I wrote a Post asking the poor girl if she wasn’t confused about her sexuality by any chance? Then again how could she not?
For instance, Brooke shields said this about her :
“I was Hannah Montana’s mother!,” Brooke joked with shock. “Where did I go wrong?” …
Brooke then laid down the hammer, stating, “I feel like it’s a bit desperate.”
http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/08/26/brooke-shields-miley-cyrus-diss-vma-performance-desperate/
Not only does that may confuse a kid, i.e. having a real and a TV mom especially since some articles talked of missus Shields as her mom without adding TV or otherwise stating her fake nature but also her real mom has been so absent / inconspicuous from the debate that, not only was the question raised by my fellow blogger and follower Shards in a comment to my piece on the last subject, not only did many moms wrote on the matter but check this google suggestion block from a search on it :
Now, honestly, that would confuse anyone, right?
The real sarcastic part in my view is the “laid down the hammer” part in the Andrew Gruttadaro signed Hollywood Life piece quoted above. He wrote that on August 26 after the VMA performance scandal? Unless he knew about the upcoming and since made public video that I covered ( with incriminating photo ),
http://definitivelapseofreason.com/2013/09/10/very-open-letter-to-miley-montana-or-hannah-cyrus-whichever/
that was a coincidence albeit a damning near precognition one? Which goes to show how the limelight can “twerk” the best of minds … which I don’t think can be construed as ever having been a proper adjective for Miley’s even though I am saying so without direct acceptable knowledge myself?
And talking of best of minds … I feel positive it is not the case of this guy?
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/13/trans-atlantic-balloon-attempt/2809509/
I’ll give him credit for the pun and humour : “This doesn’t look like France” having been uttered by him as he got stranded in Newfoundland, Canada? Heck, I’ll give him credit if the intent was to make cash from the publicity surrounding the stunt and the upcoming book on the adventure and likely film and autobiography? And Miley certainly won’t contradict me on that? Then again, mate, go all the way as the girl does? Don a fluorescent string and proclaim to fly to the Moon by flapping your arms? The chances of succeeding are about the same? Sheesh!
And our last piece of sarcasm comes from Russia? There are, no, I am not joking although one may hope that they are, people suggesting that Vladimir Putin should get the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts * cough, cough* surrounding Syria? Now, I agree that the Nobel Peace Prize has been given to enough dubious characters/recipients over the years to take some of the ridicule off that proposal including the fact that Barack Obama himself got it for the simple combination of being Black and elected President but still …
Nah, the best way to fight this kind of moronic proposition is simply to remind all of the Ign?
The IgNoble Prizes?
Check them out :
http://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig2013
I’m also working on a gif to represent the last week on Syria. I spent some time this week working on learning how to do so and hope to publish it tomorrow morning.
In the meanwhile, keep smiling and see you in less than 24 hours, Tay.
Definitive Lapse of Reason 