Of all the commercial special days of the Western calendar, Valentine’s Day is by far the worst. It picks up every bad connotation of the genre and literally none of the perks. Let’s prove this.
All bright honest folks know that the special days of the year have been stripped of their substance; for those that had any to begin with, that is. All special days of Christian origin have for instance become synonym with vacations as the religious fervor dwindled. They have also taken heavy commercial importance. These aspects are in turn compounded by the new moral rectitude of political correctness that attempts to stripe them of their meaning judge offensive to the non or otherwise believing. Christmas still marks the winter solstice for instance and does so even in lands that were never in any way Christian of essence. Yet no one would rather see it gone and have to go to work instead. Similarly, Easter is essential to mark the approach of Spring but Jesus never hunted for rabbit eggs, nor anyone else for that matter since bunnies are viviparous. yet non-Christians worldwide partake in it. This is mostly Rome’s fault as the Church over the centuries adapted pagan celebrations to drown them out which is now coming back to bite it in the buttocks. It still however does not make it logical to call Christmas trees Holiday plants as the trend goes. Try asking your Hebrew neighbours to use a single branched menorah and call it a festive candle or your Muslim co-worker to sacrifice a pig for Eid Adha in remembrance of obeying the State just for fun! Even atheists are disingenuous enough to clamor at these while they wouldn’t welcome the extra work day(s) but most accept gifts none theless.
On the other side of the problem are the neutral special days : for fathers and mothers and so on. These make sense in acknowledging specific roles or conditions in society although if we were sincere in our recognition of such, there would be a Children’s Day, a Brother’s and a Sister’s Day ( possibly bunched as Sibling’s Day ) or Uncle’s day and a Second Cousin’s day while we’re at it, a Best Friend’s Day, a Teacher’s Day, a Boss Day and so on until everyone is covered. The reason for all of these is simply that since anniversaries ( the real moment for you to acknowledge such relationships ) fall everywhere including out of sequence ( a teacher born in June would never get recognition ), synchronicity makes it more fair. The reverse of this practice being that A- we can’t cover all functions or the year would be filled with them and they’d quickly lose all meaning save to florists, chocolatiers and jewellers and B- that I suspect we’d never have a Homeless Folks’ Day which points out the horrid hypocrisy of the whole process.
The general point is that all of these should be a matter of soul and not society. I love my mom everyday and son and sister and step-mom and step-dad and so on because they are good people that treat me well, not because the flocking calendar says so. I still love my dad and brother too even both are gone. I still respect my teachers ( the good ones anyway ) even though school is in the distant past for me, considering their work endures. Being the rational ass…e that I am, I sometimes feel like taking the logical counterpart to this debauchery of fakery and say out loud to say my wife : “What? No, I won’t be nice! It ain’t Mother’s Day; get your own flowers!” Which brings me to the specific Valentine’s conundrum.
Valentine’s Day falls astride all categories of aforementioned logic mishaps. It is related to a Saint by name which is dumb. There are 3 saint martyrs by that name only one of which relates to love and a whopping 9 more other Valentines of “lesser” worth. Two of them remain know : Saint Valentine of Terni and Saint-Valentine of Rome with only the former as patron of lovers although both may actually be one and the same only celebrated in different places ( the third, or second depending, died in Africa ). Worst, there are four sites with relics, one in Ireland, one in Greece and two in France which is suspicious. Furthermore, the pagan tradition it supplanted ( Lupercalia of the Ancient Romans ) was outlawed long ago by Pope Gelasius I circa 494 and replaced with Saint-Valentine although it acquired its romantic love signification much later in the Middle Ages and dwindled steadily from then until picked up in the 20th century. In any case, it concerned only singles to which we’ll come back. And many Catholic lands celebrate the day either under another name or on another day or both ( Brazil, Columbia, Catalonia, etc ). There are also many non-Christian Lovers Day traditions, Iranians and Hebrews have one each and China has revived an equivalent ( Qīxī ) based on a legend from the Shījīng dating back to nearly a millennium before Christ! Valentine’s Day is also forbidden in most Muslim countries save great Persian Iran.
Valentine’s day under its modern form sprang up in Japan in the 1950s. This is where the chocolate thing comes from as women ( only them ) offer honmei choco to their favorites hoping for a return gift a month late signifying requited love. In this, it follows the European tradition that came after the Middle-Ages era and concerns a sort of match-making attempt with love notes, sometimes * cough, cough * a lot more. Bad point, it is declined in too many forms, between daughters and fathers or between young girls that are good friends, etc. Worse, one variant sees women offer chocolates to family which is fine by me, colleagues which is dubious if not in love and turned to a popularity contest ( the more you get, the “hotter” you are ) and even to their boss which is downright sucking up in my book. Good point, the Japanese being honest people have a different name for each type of offering!
Not so in the West and this is where I disagree entirely with the custom as it stands now. If Valentine’s Day is to make any sense, gifts ( flowers having nabbed a big market chunk from chocolates ) should be sent only by those hoping to turn a liking into a courting situation or that into an even more definitive commitment. Anything else makes no sense at all.
In order, if you are single and offer a gift on this precise day to a special friend, you are showing intent; fine! If however you are already in love, what does it say? In a relationship, shouldn’t you as I said to begin with be tender all year ‘round? If a next step should be had, how about betrothal? Soon wilted flowers won’t show enduring love for long and a chocolate engagement ring will melt faster than your lover’s heart. And if you’re engaged, forget gifts and set a date?
Just as evident is the case of married couples! Rose for your wife on Valentine’s Day? WTF? If you haven’t done the dishes for 5 months, does it compensate? I wonder how many ladies will get perfunctory gifts from husbands who otherwise despise them. Compulsory love because the calendar says so, beuaaaaark! I’d like all February 14th credit card statements to be made public just to know how many immoral people have offered gifts to both wife and mistress and which got the most expansive one! Ridi-flocking-culous!
As for colleagues and the likes, why don’t you cut yourself some slack and just print out a few dozens billets-doux to distribute freely, a few hundreds if you’re a real player. Heck, why not load your suit pockets with chocolates and make it sincere :
-“Hey, Trish, wanna come with me to the storeroom for 20 minutes? There a sweet treat for you if you do!” Wink, wink! Pat, pat! Grab an azzcheek, etc!
It makes no sense, I’m telling you! If it did, the officer waiting in the patrol car that receives a donut from his returning colleague would have to launch into an awkward explanation : -“Yeah, well, huh, you know, you’re a great partner, Jim but … huh … I’m straight, man! Single sure but straight.” even though it never comes up on any of the 364 other days of the year.
Let’s just then call February 14th Sexual Harassment Day hence and be done with it while we’re at it?
But there is one more reason to cut back on the fake love Valentine’s Day has come to represent. By extending the tradition to so many contexts in which it means nothing, we are amplifying the dismay of those who are not even hopeful for love anymore. By limiting the gestures to the sincere ones that fit the original bill of singles discretely inquiring about possible romantic sentiments ( discretely so public rejections do not forbid even trying ), we would save hardship to hundreds of thousands of already desperate folks that dread that day and cower in pain amongst the surreal orgy of fake sentiments, whose souls gets branded anew by despair every mid-February, every pseudo application of pseudo love stinging and cutting their hearts.
If the thing was downsized from its mediatic frenzy and limited to the sincere potential search for expectant partners as it should be, Lucy would not cringe all day at work when -“So, no Valentines yet?”; Jenny wouldn’t cry all night after a day at school where all but her got swooned emphatically; Mark wouldn’t be staving off suicide remembering when the only woman he’ll ever love left him, not even for a happy life.
To them on this day, my heart goes out! Not to the jewellers, florists and chocolatiers raking in cash from a debased tradition stripped of all meaning … unless they too cringed with each sale and broke down alone in the back office.
Love to the sincere hearts and fuck Valentine, Tay.
Definitive Lapse of Reason 