On photos from when dad was my age, grampa is alone in his wood shop, the perfect loner job, a rolled-up cigarette hanging from his lower lip.
His misanthropy, business and beard all grew with the years. The drill press came, followed by the bandsaw, lathe, mill, planer, sander, etc. With each machine also came a new employee and a grumble.
Then laws changed and he had to put up the sign. I guess it gave him an idea. Heβs always outside the shop now and when I asked why he switched from cigarettes to pipe, he smiled sheepishly!
( 100 words / 0 numerals ; title not included. )
The above short story is an entry to a weekly challenge on WordPress called : Friday Fictioneers!
The idea is to write a hundred words short fiction ( flash ) story upon the prompt that is provided by Rochelle under the form of the above picture.
Thanks then to Rochelle whose blog is found here :
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers-2/
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/31-january-2014/
and I hope my readers will like it.
Tay.
So in Grampa’s opinion a pipe doesn’t count?
??? Liz, re-read the last sentence, first phrase before the AND. A cigarette lasts 8 minutes but a pipe allows for an hour of solitude? π
Tay.
Thanks for the clarification. Great little story.
TY Patrick but if the clarification was needed, up to a point, I missed my mark. But check the comment below …
Tay.
I enjoyed this story. If the grandfather in the story was like my dad, who smoked cigars until he finally gave them up when the grandchildren came along, that pipe might not have even been lit. Dad’s cigar wasn’t half the time.
Hence the sheepish smile when asked about the switch. An excuse to savor the solitude, it’s only an excuse!
π Tay.
great story, i felt like i knew the character (grandpa) π
Tay, this is my favorite line: “His misanthropy, business and beard all grew with the years.” The second would have been a trial to the first, as he had to keep adding employees. No wonder he liked to take a break. I hesitated a long time about what to comment. I like the story but if it hadn’t been for the explanations in the comment section, I wouldn’t have gotten the difference between the pipe and the cigarette (time) or that the pipe might be unlit (my grandfather’s wasn’t.)
Perhaps you could revamp the story a little to give us a clue as to whether the idea is that it wasn’t lit (by saying at the beginning, “an unlit cigarette hanging…”) or in some other way to emphasize the time of being away, which focuses back on his misanthropy. Just musing a bit here because I like the story but feel there’s just a bit too much for these 100 words to describe. You don’t have to spell everything out for us, just give us a bit clearer line of where you’re headed…unless you want an open ending, in which case, spelling it out in the comments goes against that ending. Hope that all makes sense. I’ve often found readers coming to a different conclusion than I’d had in mind, when I thought everything was so clear. The hazards and joys of writing!
janet
You found the explaining sentence though, spot on? I admit readily as answered to Liz and Patrick that the time / duration difference between a cigarette and a pipe might escape the non-smoking readers. This said, the fact that it followed changing laws about smoking in the workplace/shop should have given it away? I had the story proofread by my son and he got it straight on though not a smoker.
100 words is a bit short indeed for me on average. It usually goes : 5 minutes to think about the picture of the week, 5 minutes to write the story and 15 to 30 minutes to make it fit!
But then, as you pointed out in closing such is the challenge?
For instance, I really loved your take on Claire’s photo but was disappointed by the explanation below for inaccurate ( IMHereticO ) statements. Too many words? π
Thanks for taking time to help out in any case, Tay.
P.S. If ( just if ) next week’s piece sounds like a kindergarden tale, it will be on you! π
Would love to have more explicit input on which statements you felt were inaccurate in the explanation after my story. I cite both my sources and found the basic information in other places as well. So if there’s something that’s incorrect, I’d be happy to remove it.
As for a kindergarten tale, they’re sometimes the most difficult to write. π
janet
Oh! Nothing essential, Janet, don’t worry! The similarity to 9-11 seemed flimsy as people have flung themselves out o f windows in many other instance or the call of it being “the most famous of factory fires” should have included American in it as such things happened elsewhere before and after ( 2013 in Bangladesh comes to mind : http://www.cbc.ca/news2/interactives/timeline-bangladesh/ ), things like that.
It wasn’t meant so much as a critic of your work anyhow but as a warning and preference of mine against explaining too much for fiction pieces. π
Besides, I explain and source a whole lot on other matters? π
Don’t fret mylady, nothing hopeless on the horizon, Tay.
Dear Tay,
After all the comments and explanations, I’ll just quietly say that I could have a lot in common with Grandpa, except the smoking. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Really Roach? Then Fridays when you generously visit us all must excruciating? Or are you a real life misanthropist and a virtual extrovert? π
Wink ‘n peace mylady, Tay.
Ack! My secret’s out. Obviously you’re an observant comment reader. π
You rather nailed me, too. I’m not a crowd type person. I can put on a front for a while but being a virtual extrovert is much easier.
Winking back atcha, Tay
Shalom,
Roach…I mean…ahem…Rochelle
Nice story!
Thanx Riya grrrl! I was baffled by yours however : is Rosario a fox by any chance? The animal not the sexy thang? Oh well, 4 days to Friday π
Tay
Yes I can’t wait! We will see what FF brings us!
Grampa sounds so much fun! He actually found a loophole to the law π well done
Thank you, crazy Sam! He’s a loner just like your character for this week although for less sordid reasons? π
But I wouldn’t say loophole … even better, he used it to his advantage? he he he π
Have a great day, Tay.