The wave of pain subsided and she opened her eyes again. How difficult this was! Nothing had prepared her for this ordeal. and of all places here, in a crèche, an open air manger as the inn’s room was filled with travelers. Why had he …
Thought interrupted! Red blinding flash; pain returned!
When the fog cleared, there was that ugly face again! She averted her eyes and found Joseph’s concerned gaze instead! Good Joseph! Contrary to generations of women before her, she could not even blame him for her condition! He did bring them on this trip away from home but there again had had no choice but to comply to that goy ruler Quirinius’ order.
Arrrrrrrrgh! Puff, clamping loins, clamping jaws!
Moo … thus spake the ugly one! Not only could she not fault her husband but transferring her affection to her son instead, that other great tradition of her People’s womenfolk would not be possible either. At least, she knew it was going to be a Son;the angel-o-graphy had confirmed that!
Eyes closed! Pain, pain, pain : breathe!
Not a son but The Son! How do you love a God? What injustice for a mother to have to give her first born away, to share him with the whole World! How long can you baby one destined to rule for all times? Why her?
And as the pain returns, she moves and bumps into the grey beast!
This time around the dolores did not ebb! A quick unseeing look into the donkey’s gentle eyes, her hand convulsively grasping that of her man who shouldn’t even be there but there were no family women here and the hurting rises anew … Almost there, it was almost done!
As the baby came out, the young woman fell back into the straw litter and worn clothes. Her distress was overcoming her happiness. Yes, the Shepherds would soon gather following the Angels’ orders! Yes, those 3 strange and richly clad men following the novel star’s pointing would bear wondrous presents to acknowledge the miracle. But then would come the exile in the land of the forgotten Pharaohs! And then they could return to Nazareth.
No one would know of her worries and care for decades until that fateful time when she could claim the body. For then the God would have left it? Poor woman who birthed for all others and only got to mother an infant and a corpse? Yes, there would be eternal glory although some would later even reject that. Glory but not recognition? In that at least, she would be an ordinary woman : overlooked as minor quantity! Less submissive than obedient, more iconic than human, that was her job as the vessel of God’s will and message.
How strange then that this day is not more concerned with remembering her as well?
Hosannah etc …
Tay.
Definitive Lapse of Reason 