Self pics in the mirror are useless : Relationship clues and vampires.

I spent the afternoon with a girlfriend. I know this term is heavily laden in English so let me state 100% heterosexuality. Yes, I am a man but it does not bar me from having female friends. This particular friend needed a male point of view on relationships . Anyhow, we’ve been there, done that and got each other’s t-shirt which alleviates tensions in such cases. 😎

She’s just been dumped recently, you see. As break ups often go, she was angry and sick over it. The problem is that I and most of her other friends felt she shouldn’t have been so shaken up; the idiot was not worth it in our honest opinions. So we talked about relationship clues. Most things we discussed you likely know about already : how relationships should add to your well-being and not detract from it; that you should have a clear list of things that you not ready to accept or squander and stick to it; that you should be truthful in order to hope for as much from the other; sex  and so on.

Then, at some point, she was sitting on my lap and I looked up at her face and she looked relax, happy and yes quite beautiful, say radiant! Of course, I pointed it out if only to boost her self-esteem and an idea sprang up …
( Oh! Come on! Keep a cool head [ or admittedly two in my case, sigh! 🙂 ], an idea, I said! ).

– Do you know those pictures of you and him from your Facebook Page? Do you realize that they do not show a couple at any point?

She was puzzled and reviewed them quickly in her mind. – You might be right, she answered. Of course, I was, besides its one of those qualities of mine that I just can’t escape until they turn into nagging shortcomings ( No! Not that kind! Take your mind out of the gutter for a second, please! ). Anyhow …

It got me thinking of the horrendous modern habit of people, mostly girls, to take self pics in the mirror with their cell-phones, I or other. Go to your room, and take a few pics of yourself. Go to the bathroom and take a few pics of yourself. Go to the bar; go to the bar’s bathroom and take a few pics of yourself. Etc. What good is that for?

At best, supposing that you end up with a couple pictures where you feel satisfied that you look fabulous enough, what does that show apart from a lack of self-confidence? That you can look good at times? It really depends on how many Megs of mega-pixels you had to delete in the process, now, does it not? With the help of silicon and technology and many annoying minutes ( to those waiting outside the bathrooms that really need to pee, that is ), you managed to look cute? Geez, glad for you, now get out that I can relieve my bladder of the six-pack I downed while waiting for you to come back to the party, OK, purrty?

Seriously, it reeks of top-model shoots? Of flocking course six years of anorexia, six gallons of make-up and six hours of the best photographic talent money can buy produce perfect pictures of ultra-sexy, ultra-skinny, unattainable smugness, it better! By the same token, the fact that those endless private sessions of trying to look cute and desirable produce ten or twelve Facebook profiles a year showing you in a good light does not prove that you actually are beautiful, nor that you are sexy, nor that you are as desirable as a movie star. They only prove that, with a whole lotta efforts, you can look … like something. In short, that you can fake a look? And unless you are a politician or an actress or trying to sell something, looking like something you really are not is not a quality. Especially in a relationship? ( Go back to being truthful up there ^ )

So back to relationships, if you have a friend entering a new one of those, help them out! Take a hint from those poor self-centered people in the bathroom and do yourself and your friend a favor, let go of the ego and take pictures of them instead? Record their new couple for further review. Yes, I am sure that you are a good friend and would tell them of your doubts if you happened to have any but still, a picture is worth a thousand words, isn’t it? So inconspicuously if possible ( and otherwise otherwise ), snap up their eventually dynamic duo.

If their union is not meant to be, if your friend is not blooming for it, it will show. It will show in negatives even in digital pictures. No closeness, no smiles, no proximity, no glow on her or his face? And as soon as you’re worried enough or that they confide their unease or fears, whip out that lackluster portfolio so they can judge for themselves?
The absence of love is easy to spot, it’s akin to vampires : it doesn’t show on the pictures anymore than they show in the mirrors?

Then hold your poor friend close and gently until they feel better.
Besides, it’s all good, for if the love is true, you’ll be the official photographer of a budding romance for the ages?

In any case, as I did today, please, take care of those you call your own and keep them company?

Wishing you luck in love, Tay.